Papa's Princess
by silentpoints
Summary: Sasuke didn't understand how Sarada went from promising that she'll marry him when she grows up, because her papa was "strong and cool", to saying that she will marry his "super-strong and super-cool" friend and rival, Naruto. As a result, Sasuke has a complete break from reality.
1. Chapter 1

**Full SUMMARY**

Sasuke didn't understand how Sarada went from promising that she'll marry him when she grows up, because her papa was "strong and cool", to saying that she will marry his "super-strong and super-cool" friend and rival, Naruto.

Alternatively: Sarada is amazed that Naruto has a fluffy fox in his stomach and announces their engagement, causing Sasuke to have a complete break from reality.

[Short-story. Featuring the Uchiha and Uzumaki families, as well as Kakashi being a troll.]

* * *

**Chapter 1: Sarada's Decleration!**

* * *

**A DAY IN FEBRUARY...**

When Sarada is three-years-old, Sakura asks Sasuke to change a lightbulb in their daughter's bedroom, too pre-occupied with preparing dinner to do it herself.

The young girl watches in amazement as Papa uses chatra to climb up the ceiling and easily fixes the problem. She can't believe he can do such an awesome ninja-thing! She promptly decides that her father is really, really cool!

Sasuke smirks, revelling in the admiration shining in his daughter's wide eyes. That admiration is only meant for Sasuke; Sarada spares such eyes for no one besides him. He actively makes sure of it.

The door creaks open, and Sakura comes in with a plate full of cookies for Sarada to enjoy. The young girl, however, is too focused on Sasuke to care about sweet things at that moment.

"Mama!" Sarada suddenly calls when she notices the presence of the pink-haired woman. She runs to her mother, but trips slightly on the way, nearly giving Sakura a heart attack. However, the girl catches herself with surprisingly fast reflexes for a toddler.

Sasuke leans against the wall, watching the scene play out with soft eyes. Sakura crouches to her daughter's level to listen to whatever she wants to say.

"Are Mama and Papa married?" Sarada questions, impatient. She still hasn't gotten the hang of speaking in second person, something her parents think is adorable.

Sakura furrows her eyebrows. She starts to say, "Of course—"

"Why?" Sarada interjects, staring at her mother with puppy-dog eyes.

Sakura blinks. Then she blushes a light peach, glancing between Sasuke and the child that was the result of their marriage. "Well," she begins. "I married your father because I love him..." she finishes shyly.

"Why does Mama love Papa?"

"That's a big question, sweetie," Sakura laughs nervously, a little worried that her answer would be inadequate.

She takes a breath to compose herself.

"Well, when I first met your father I loved him because I thought he was strong and cool, but then I began to love him because—"

Sarada stops listening. "I think Papa's strong and cool!" she exclaims, turning to look at her father. "So, when I'm bigger, I'm going to marry Papa!"

Sasuke's face shows an uncharacteristic influx of emotions. Sakura has only seen such emotions a handful of times by her husband, and a grin reaches her lips.

She sputters, humoring her daughter. "But Sarada!" she says. "I'm married to Papa! Both of us can't be married to him!"

"Sorry Mama," Sarada apologizes, face serious, as if she's an adult. "I'm marrying Papa."

Sasuke, on the other hand, bends down to his daughter's level. "That's perfect," he tells her, grabbing her hand. "Now none of those stupid pests called boys can ever take Papa's princess away."

Sakura sweat-drops nervously, thinking, Oh dear...

Sarada, however, sympathizes with her father.

"Boys are stupid," she agrees, before correcting herself, "Only Papa isn't stupid!"

(Little did Sasuke know that his idiot best friend, Naruto, would take his sweet princess from him.)

* * *

**Notes: **

This short story is solely fluffy crack, featuring the adorable families of SasuSakuSara and NaruHinaBoruHima. Also, Team 7 bonding with Hokage Kakashi is something you should look forward to ;)

Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Uzumaki Household Warzone!**

* * *

**ONE WEEK LATER...**

Naruto bids his wife goodbye at the door.

Their children are nearby. The kids are sitting on the floor, innocently playing with toys together, their blue eyes shining with wonder.

Hinata is burned out. Their one-year-old daughter, Himawari, has refused to leave her mother's side—despite the girl's adorable appearance and generally sweet personality, in many ways, Himawari is a monster. She gets especially fussy and angry when she doesn't receive what she deems to be enough attention from her beloved mother.

On top of that, during the night, Boruto sticks to Hinata like glue. The young boy's been having bad dreams lately about some giant man-eating orange creature, and only manages to fall asleep when the sun peeks through the window, forcing his mother to stay awake with him until his eyes close.

Because of this, Hinata hasn't slept much this past week. Exhaustion is written plainly across her face, and her left eye keeps twitching in a way that can't be healthy.

Naruto feels bad. First, Hinata had to go through eighteen months of pregnancy filled with morning sickness, cravings, and fatigue, only to push out two water-melon sized beings from… down there. Then, she had to feed, clothe, and take care of the entire family, all the while completing the household duties.

So, like a good significant other, Naruto offers to take care of the kids for two days and one night as his wife goes to take a much-deserved break at the Hyūga Compound.

"Naruto-kun," Hinata starts unsurely. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

She's reluctant to leave the children with her husband, and rightfully so. After all, one disastrous time, she left Boruto with Naruto and Konohamaru when she was pregnant. As Hinata returned a few hours later, the kitchen had literally _exploded_.

Naruto grins sheepishly, as if remembering the same incident. He laughs anxiously. "I promise it won't be like last time!" he reassures her. "I'm a grown-up now 'ttebayo!"

Hinata nods gratefully. Quickly, she kisses Himawari and Boruto on the cheeks, before pecking her husband on the lips.

Then, she _runs _as fast as she can to the Hyūga Compound, preparing to collapse on the first bed she sees.

Finally, she can _sleep_!

Meanwhile, Naruto stares down at the two children sitting on the ground in front of him. They have irises identical to his. In fact, the color might be slightly bluer.

It makes him nervous to know that he's their _father_.

"Alright!" he cries with too much enthusiasm. "Let's eat some good old instant ramen—"

Then he lamely trips on his own two feet out of nervousness, barely catching himself.

Boruto gazes at him, unimpressed. He proceeds to murmur an insult he learned from Sarada. "Stupid…" he says under his breath.

(However, secretly, Boruto thinks his father is the smartest person in the whole wide world.

Although of course he wouldn't admit that! That would be so uncool!)

Before Naruto can react to the _totally-inappropriate-word_, Himawari looks up. It's clear that she realizes that her mother has suddenly disappeared.

The girl's lips quiver, and tears begin to build up in her eyes. "M-Mama…" she hiccups.

Naruto's face falls, and he braces himself for the inevitable blood-curdling scream—

"MAMA!" Himawari wails loudly, voice echoing throughout the house.

...

All hell promptly breaks loose in the Uzumaki household.

* * *

**ONE HOUR LATER...**

Kakashi is sitting on the Hokage's desk, listening to Shizune as she goes on and on and _on _about how he needs to complete his duties in a more timely manner.

Two days ago, team assignments for the Academy graduates were due.

Kakashi just handed them in twenty minutes ago.

He sighs. Honestly, what did they expect of him when they _bullied _him into become Hokage? Of course he'd be tardy in everything he did! He's Hatake Kakashi, a shinobi revered first and foremost for his lateness!

Suddenly, the telephone on his desk rings. He quickly brings it to his ear, grateful that he doesn't have to listen to more of Shizune's complaining.

Immediately, he regrets being so close to the device, because his former-student, Naruto, is screaming on the other side.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto, the hero who saved the world during the Fourth Shinobi World War, cries pathetically. "Please help me! Hinata is gone and these kids are out of control—"

The man stops speaking abruptly, only to address his children.

"Boruto! Don't touch that! It's dangerous! Himawari, don't cry! Tou-chan is here! Ow! Boruto, ow, ow, OW! Stop pulling my hair—"

As _that _occurs, Kakashi looks at the still-fuming woman in front of his desk in contemplation. He has to decide between two screeching kids ane one screeching Shizune.

He blinks. _Two screeching kids it is, _he thinks. _Plus one terrified former-student. _

"Oh no!" Kakashi exclaims with comical and fake exasperation. "It looks like Naruto's house is in a state of emergency! I need to go and save my soon-to-be successor, so let's continue this conversation later!"

Shizune looks like she's about to kill someone, but Kakashi doesn't stick around to find out who; instead, he disappears in a puff of smoke, taking nothing but his trusty Icha Icha Paradise with him.

* * *

**TWO HOURS LATER…**

When Naruto called Kakashi earlier, he did it out of pure desperation.

(Actually, Iruka would have been the better option, in Naruto's opinion; however, the Academy headmaster was in Kirigakure to ensure that the label, the "Village of the Bloody Mist" was no longer... _applicable _when it came to the village's schooling system.)

The Uzumaki children—who had already broken two vases at that point—were simply out of his control. Himawari was still crying, and Boruto was apparently dead-set on doing everything in his power to make his father miserable.

Naruto had thought that Kakashi, one of the parental figures in his life, would certainly know what to do! In his mind, since the man was able to somewhat successfully deal with the dysfunction that was Team 7, he would surely be able to manage a pair of lawless siblings—

Right?

...Wrong, wrong and WRONG!

Instead of helping, Kakashi sits on the couch, casually reading Jiraiya's novel as if the rest of the world doesn't exist.

At some point, the Sixth Hokage even has the _audacity _to stand up and search for some of the leftover eggplant salad Hinata made the day before, eating it shamelessly as he watches Boruto paint the walls, saying something like, "It's your turn to suffer how poor Iruka-sensei suffered before you."

Naruto wants to break down and cry. And that's when he calls Sakura.

* * *

**MEANWHILE...**

Sakura is sitting on the couch, tying Sarada's hair in a pretty red bow, when she hears the phone ring.

It's Naruto. He pleads and begs for help over the phone, saying that Hinata is gone and Kakashi is only making the situation worse. The Uzumaki household sounds like a warzone on the other end of the line, and immediately, maternal dread fills the kunoichi.

She stands up to pack the essentials.

(Diapers and wipes? Check. First aid kit? Check. Feeding bottles and pacifiers? Check.)

Sarada throws a fit as Sakura tells them that they're going to visit Boruto's house, because: _"No! No! I don't want to go to idiot-Boruto's house! Boys are stupid!" _

In a moment of panic, the med-nin gives her daughter _the look_, and rapidly, Sarada stops her fussing, starting to pout like her father did when he was smaller.

The young girl submissively takes her mother's hand, cheeks puffed out in order to maintain a little bit of defiance. _That expression is absolutely precious, _Sakura thinks, grin reaching her face.

As Sakura opens the door, however, she finds Sasuke on the other side, about to enter the house.

He blinks, looking at his family as they prepare to leave with two backpacks, contemplating the worst case-scenarios in his mind. "Where are you going?" he questions, face impassive.

Sakura's face flushes. She's so, so _frustrated_—

"Hinata takes a break for a few hours, and already that idiot Naruto's lost control of his own kids!" she blurts out.

She can't believe it; after all, this is the man who saved the village and world on multiple occasions, and yet Naruto's still so… ugh!

"And that stupid Kakashi-sensei's reading his stupid porn as those kids are probably destroying poor Hinata's house!"

Sakura pants, breathing in and out, trying to stay calm as she pinches the bridge of her nose.

Sasuke's brow arches. He smirks, before proceeding to grab Sarada's other hand. He can't help but notice that it's so small and soft in comparison to his, so he holds her as if she's made of glass.

"I _have_ to see _this_," he explains, lips quirking mischievously as he envisions the image of his rival, Naruto, getting beaten thoroughly by two kids whose names he pretends he can't remember.

Sarada giggles. "Mama's gonna scold that stupid Boruto!" she yells excitedly, and Sasuke taps her nose approvingly.

* * *

**TEN MINUTES LATER...**

The Uchiha family is standing outside the Uzumaki household. Sakura takes a deep breath, in order to prepare herself for what's on the other side of the door, before ringing the bell.

No answer.

Infamous temper flaring, she kicks the door open. A dark aura surrounds her, and as soon as the impact of the door hitting the wall resonates in the house, the entire surrounding area becomes silent.

(Sarada cheers in the background for her mother loudly. Sasuke does the same, only mentally.)

Sakura first looks at Boruto, who's in the process of painting the word "IDIOT" on a wall. She knows that, unlike his father, this boy is considered a genius from infancy, so she isn't even surprised that he can write at such a young age.

The only thing that concerns her is the delinquency that he _did _inherit from his father.

She stares the blond boy dead in the eyes, and he gulps, dropping the brush in the process. He looks about ready to cry when Sakura bites out:

"Boruto. Time out. Now."

Complying, Boruto scurries into the corner. In that moment, Sakura had given him the same _look _his mother gives when she's angry—and his mother can be super scary when she's angry.

Sakura then glances at Naruto, who's holding a teary Himawari, and she's about to make him pay for his irresponsibility. However, she can't bring herself to do it when she sees how defeated he looks. Feeling pitiful, she uncharacteristically spares him the brunt of her rage.

Instead, she turns to Kakashi.

The man blinks.

"Yo," he greets, smiling nervously.

No answer.

Kakashi swallows. "I…" he begins. "I need to get back to the office, so see you soo—"

"Sensei," Sakura essentially growls, teeth bared and fist raised. "Go stand with Boruto right now, or I swear you will see first-hand how much I_blossomed _under Tsunade-sama!"

At first, he has the audacity to laugh. But then he looks at her, and he realizes that she means it.

_Oh. _

"You can't do that!" he tries to defend. "I'm Hokage, and your senior, and not to mention your former-teacher—"

Sakura continues to give the _look _as she takes a suddenly silent Himawari from Naruto, cradling the girl.

The white-haired man debates disappearing in a puff of smoke, but then he sees Boruto looking all sad and alone, and thinks, _Aw... I can't just leave him like this!_

He decides to play along with Sakura.

That's the first time Kakashi and Boruto truly bond; they both have the same pout as they sit in time-out, quietly grumbling about how they both _totally _weren't scared of a _girl _anyways.

Sarada laughs at Boruto's misery loudly, and Sasuke snickers as he looms over Naruto, who's collapsed on the ground.

"Get up, Usuratonkachi."

Suddenly, Naruto gets this burst of energy from nowhere as he points an accusing finger at his best friend-slash-rival, yelling: "What did you call me, you bastard?!"

* * *

Notes:

This chapter was fun to write lmao, but it was more transitional, meant to give some spotlight on Hinata and Sakura, because in the next chapter it'll mostly be about Naruto, Kakashi, Sasuke, Boruto and Sarada. Prepare for lots of fluffy goodness huehuehuehue. And thanks for all the support + reviews so far! It really inspires me to continue this story, which will be approximately 4 chapters long :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Naruto's Stronger and Cooler!?**

* * *

**MANY HOURS LATER…**

After forcing Boruto to start scrubbing off the crude remarks he painted on the walls, Sakura quietly grumbles the entire time she has to clean the explosive mess that was left in the wake of Hinata's absence.

She wants one of the adults—meaning Sasuke, Naruto, and supposedly, Kakashi—to chime in and lend her a hand, but they don't seem to catch on to her non-verbal cues, and the woman silently seethes as her teammates begin to drink rice wine without her.

But then, as Sakura's about to start preparing dinner in the kitchen (because no way is she going to let these kids survive on instant ramen), Himawari crawls to the medic, tugging at the bottom of her clothes to get her attention. The woman turns around, only to see Himawari pointing at the stove.

"C-Cook!" the girl exclaims, stumbling on the word; she's all smiles and cuteness, and Sakura simply _melts_.

"You want to help me cook, Himawari-chan?" Sakura questions for clarification, voice high and excited.

The toddler doesn't respond through words, instead raising her arms and gesturing to be picked up. Sakura squeals, lifting her and placing her on the counter, deciding that Himawari is an absolutely adorable angel—and so, so very precious—and must be protected at all costs!

Meanwhile, the men are gathered around the table, and Sarada is sitting on Sasuke's lap, listening to their conversation. She occasionally glances at Boruto as he scrubs at the walls, but for the most part, she's definitely-and-totally focused solely on the super-important conversation the grown-ups are having.

"There still hasn't been any information about the Ōtsutsuki, huh, Sasuke?" Naruto questions, taking a long chug of his drink.

Sasuke shakes his head, exhaling. "No," he responds, sipping at his own glass. "I can't find a trace of anything anywhere."

Sarada puffs her cheeks, leaning in because she desperately wants to be a part of the adult-conversation. "Who's Ōtsuki?" she questions, face serious, as if she's a tiny politician.

Naruto cackles, and even Sasuke releases an amused sound from the back of his throat. It makes Sarada feel embarrassed, and her face consequently turns red.

Kakashi, however, looks at Sarada very, very seriously, unable to help himself. Under his mask, his cheeks are flushed from the alcohol he secretly downs whenever no one is looking; in his drunken state, he finds it difficult _not _to mess with his former-students and their children.

"The Ōtsuki are bad guys, Sarada," the Sixth Hokage states, mimicking Tenzou's infamous ghoul-eyes to attempt to get a reaction out of her. "They're strong, like monsters! And they like to eat little kids like you!"

However, similarly to her father, Sarada doesn't flinch; if anything, she's unimpressed. On the other hand, both Naruto and Boruto visibly tense, the latter going rigid once he gets a good look at Kakashi's scary face from his peripheral vision as he finishes cleaning the walls.

Kakashi sighs tiredly. "Aren't you scared? Even a bit?" he asks the girl, exasperated.

Sarada huffs. "No," she says matter-of-factly, "Papa will save me from Ōtsuki! Papa can use _chatra _and fix the light—Papa's strong and cool!"

"Heh," Sasuke smirks, revelling in the praises of his daughter, ego getting bigger and bigger with every passing second.

Kakashi arches his brows and smiles, thinking that it's about time for someone to cut Sasuke down to his size.

After all, Kakashi would be a bad teacher if he let his student get _this _arrogant, right?

"It's true that your papa has a lot of _chatra_," the Sixth Hokage says, grinning ferally under his mask.

Sasuke narrows his eyes in warning, however the white-haired man continues, saying:

"But, did you know that Naruto here—" he points at the unsuspecting blond, "—has at least one-hundred-times more _chatra _than your papa?

Sarada blinks, dumbfounded. She looks at the three men with wide eyes, focus shifting between them, before her attention eventually lands on Naruto.

She tilts her head as Sasuke glares daggers at Kakashi.

"Is that true?" she asks the soon-to-be-Hokage, Naruto.

The man in question laugh nervously, because suddenly, he's the one Sasuke's glaring at.

All he can think is that he did not sign up for _this_ as he starts to deliver his carefully-crafted reply, explaining:

"It's true that I have more chatra—I mean, _chakra_—than your Papa does, but I promise that we're equal—"

"Naruto is stronger than your papa because he has a cute, fluffy fox that lives in his tummy!" Kakashi cuts in, giggling. His pupils are wide with mischief, nearly taking over the whites of his eyeballs as he waves his hands around frantically. "That fox has a lot of _chatra _that he shares with Naruto!"

Naruto is bewildered at the fact that Kurama doesn't take offence at being called "cute" and "fluffy".

Meanwhile, Sarada stares on in a daze, rendered flabbergasted by the mere concept of a cute, fluffy fox taking _residence _in the body of Boruto's dad.

Then, Sarada remembers the words her mother said a while ago… something about how her mother married her father because she thought he was strong and cool…

Sarada suddenly wonders:

_Is Naruto-ojisan truly stronger than Papa, because he has more chatra? Isn't Naruto-ojisan also a lot cooler than Papa, because he has a fox in his tummy?_

Pause.

A mere second passes, and suddenly, Sarada's thoughts race in her head, the destination being an abrupt revelation—

"When I get bigger, I'm going to marry Naruto-ojisan!" the young girl blurts, jumping off Sasuke's lap as she gazes enthusiastically at Naruto's super-blue irises.

Silence.

Naruto chokes on his drink and Kakashi nearly falls off his chair. In the kitchen, Sakura drops a plate as she hears the sentence from the distance, and Boruto lets the cloth he was using to cleanse the walls fall to the ground.

The only one who doesn't physically react is Sasuke. However, as Naruto recovers from his choking fit, he feels an all-too-familiar killing intent oozing out of his friend. But, unlike all those manic times Sasuke attempted to end Naruto's life during their teenage years, the man's energy is somehow _more _chilling.

Kakashi sits back as he watches the scene play out, ready to be thoroughly entertained.

Moments pass, and the first one to verbally react is Boruto.

"Y-You can't marry my dad!" Boruto stammers loudly, angry as he stomps his way to his father's side.

"Yes I can!" Sarada yells defiantly, before ignoring the boy and looking at Naruto dreamily, who's sweating buckets at this point.

Sakura decides to break into the conversation at that moment, entering the living room with Himawari in her arms. "Sweetie..." Sakura starts cautiously, referring to her daughter. "You can't marry Naruto-ojisan, because he's already married to Hinata-obasan!"

The pink-haired woman swallows anxiously and hugs Himawari tightly as she glances at her husband, whose expression is hidden behind inky bangs as he stares at the floor.

"I…" Sasuke begins quietly, rocking back and forth, hand banging rhythmically on his lap.

He can't believe what's happening, and he contemplates all the ways he can make his daughter come back to him as he watches Naruto shrink in his seat.

"I just thought you were going to marry Papa..."

"Sorry Papa," Sarada says seriously, as if she's an adult. "I'm marrying Naruto-ojisan."

Kakashi cackles, before slapping Naruto on the back, about to say something—

Sakura points an accusing finger at her teacher, screeching: "Kakashi-sensei! Don't you dare make this situation worse, you _sadist_—"

"Congratulations on the engagement, Naruto," Kakashi slurs.

From behind Sasuke's bangs, Sakura sees the red of the Sharingan, and thinks, _Oh dear…_

(And in that moment, both Naruto and Sakura know that Sasuke's in the process of having a complete break from reality.)


End file.
